…Spongebob Squarepants.
Floating and soggy, and oily is he…
OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Telkom: a vast improvement!
Man oh man, some people really are stupid.
Idiot Sighting #1
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
I said,’Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.’
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said ‘We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change..Do not confuse the clerks at MacD’s.
Idiot Sighting #2
We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said,
‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two..’We haven’t used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park , Nr Watford UK
Idiot Sighting #3
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Departmentto request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’
Story from Potters Bar , Herts , UK
Idiot Sighting #4
My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimum lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From South Oxhey Herts , UK …
Idiot Sighting #5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’Happened Luton Airport … UK
Idiot Sighting #6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’She is a Local County Counciller employee in Harrow , Middlesex , UK
Idiot Sighting #7
When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, ‘its open!’
His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire UK
The Contrast blog quotes chef Gordon Ramsey in a short piece about what the details mean and what they stand for:
“It doesn’t matter how amazing the steak is, if it’s served on a cold plate it’s crap. If it’s served with a dull knife it’s crap. If the gravy isn’t piping hot, it’s crap. If you’re eating it on an uncomfortable chair, it’s crap. If it’s served by an ugly waiter who just came in from a smoke break, it’s crap. Because I care about the steak, I have to care about everything around it.”
Einstein’s actual writing on a blackboard, preserved since the 1930s.
The Museum of the History of Science, Oxford University, Oxford. Via.
One human cell contains 75 MB genetic information.
2. One sperm contains a half of that; that is 37.5 MB.
3. One ml of semen contains 100 million sperms.
4. In average, ejaculation lasts for 5 sec and contains 2.25 ml of semen.
5. This means that the throughput of a man’s member is equal to (37.5 MB x 100,000,000 x 2.25)/5 = 1 687 500 000 000 000 byte/second = 1,6875 Тerabyte/sec
This means that the female eggcell withstands this Dos (Denial of Service) attack at 1,5 terabyte per second, and only lets through one (!) data package, thereby being the best freaking hardware firewall in the world!
Farting
“My life isn’t that great right now …”
This appeals to me today. I’ve had a couple dark moments and days lately and this is a much needed optimism injection.
rick rolling the westboro baptist church (via sandwichgirl)
Westboro Baptist Church Twitter/SF Counter-Protest (more here)
I am a band and live music photographer and web developer, living in Cape Town, South Africa.
I own and run a small web development agency and consultancy, called Eighty Six
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